Eastern Lightning | The Road to Purification

My name is Christopher and I am a pastor from a family church in the Philippines. In 1987, I was baptized and returned to the Lord Jesus. By the Lord’s grace, in 1996 I became a pastor of the local church. At that time, apart from preaching in many places around the Philippines, I also preached in places like Hong Kong and Malaysia. Because of the work and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I felt that I had inexhaustible energy in my work for the Lord and an unceasing flow of words in my sermons. I would often go to support brothers and sisters when they were negative and weak. Sometimes members of their family who did not believe in the Lord were unfriendly toward me, yet I could be tolerant and patient and not lose faith in the Lord and I believed that the Lord could change them. So I felt like I had changed a great deal since believing in the Lord. However, since 2011, I have not felt the work of the Holy Spirit as strongly as before. Slowly, I have had no new enlightenment for my sermons and have not had the strength to break free from living in sin. I could not help getting angry at my wife and daughter and teaching them a lesson through my temper when I saw that they were not doing as I desired. I knew that this was not in keeping with the will of the Lord, but often I could not help myself. I felt particularly distressed about this. In order to free myself from a life of sin and confession, I put more effort into reading the Bible, fasting and praying and found spiritual pastors everywhere to seek and explore this together. But all of my efforts were useless and made no difference to me living in sin and to the darkness in my soul.