A Wandering Heart Comes Home
My name is Novo, and I’m Filipino. I have followed my mom in her belief in God since I was little, and would go listen to sermons at church together with my siblings. Although I had believed in the Lord for many years, I felt that I had not changed, and that I was the same as an unbeliever, in my heart thinking all day about how to make more money, and about how to spend my days in comfort and enjoy the good life. Furthermore, I also often went drinking with my friends, and the moment I had any spare cash I’d go gambling. I knew that doing these things was at odds with the Lord’s will, I would often pray to the Lord and confess my sins, and I would make firm my resolution to Him that I would give up these bad habits and never sin again from that day on. But with the cajoling and enticement of my friends, I simply couldn’t control myself. And so it was that I became more and more degenerate, my heart got farther and farther away from God, there was no longer any sincerity when I prayed to the Lord, and every week I would just say a few simple prayers, and do it in a slipshod way. Sometimes I would even feel such despair, as I knew that when the Lord returned He would judge each and every person based on their actions and behavior, and then decide for each person whether they would go up to heaven or down to hell. I felt I was so degenerate that God would not forgive me again. Afterward, I married and had kids. All I thought about was my wife and my children. When it came to my faith, I pushed it to the back of my mind. In order to provide a better future for my children and to achieve my desires to become rich, I decided to go work abroad. And so I came to Taiwan. After I found a job and made some money, I’d still not changed the way I used to live my life, and in my leisure time I would go with my workmates to drink and sing karaoke, living a life of revelry; I’d long since put my belief in God to the back of my mind.
